There is no cruelty in God and none in me.

6-20-2026

“How thoroughly insane is the idea that to defend from fear is to attack!” [CE W-170.2:1]

Reading this lesson, what came to mind was the story of an early Christian Roman woman who would not renounce her belief in Jesus which led to Rome executing all of her 8 sons. I could never get my head around such a choice. I thought of the story as someone who is zealous about her faith. I have never sat with this to clarify if she was right or wrong – it always seemed wrong to me.

Her choices feel like attack in that she feels stubborn to the point of causing others to be violent (killing her sons). Her perspective could have also been that she did not see this world as important, so she had faith in her children existing in spirit and living well on the other side.

I think that the true answer is as taught in the Course and in the Gospels, which is to give the people and events of this world what they want while holding truth within. Jesus said to ‘give to Ceasar what is Ceasar’s’.

Gentleness. Defenselessness. Generosity. Patience. Faithfulness. (I’m holding dear, the ideas from Chapter 4, Trust, of the Manual for Teachers.)

There is nothing that I need to hold onto that is of this world. God Loves me, forever. This is truth. It does not even matter through which scripture I found this to be true. I can release the source of my awakening and just hold onto knowing, so that how I learned does not separate me from others.

“A finger pointing at the moon is not the moon. The finger is needed to know where to look for the moon, but if you mistake the finger for the moon itself, you will never know the real moon.” ~ Thich Nhat Hahn

I shared the story of the Roman woman in study group, and it brought about a long conversation. To further clarify what I came to understand was this statement that I shared (thanks HS):

“Am I meant to defend the words of Jesus, or am I meant to live them?”

6-19-2024

“You make what you defend against, and by your own defense against it is it real and inescapable. ⁷Lay down your arms, and only then do you perceive it false.”

This lesson is truly difficult as it wants us to see and understand how we have twisted ‘love’ into defensiveness and cruelty – this all to just feel safe – to protect the body as we limit our belief in ourselves as being only our bodies. We are so far from knowing our true Selves as Love, and holy.

This lesson shows me that my eyes are more open as I can give my attention to this difficult description of our world. It is like seeing for the first time.

I am ready for true Love, peace, and strength to be in my world. Amen!

6-19-2023

“When you think that you attack in self-defense, you mean that to be cruel is protection, you are safe because of cruelty.”

In today’s CAC Daily Meditation, Fr. Richard said of Jesus, “Jesus is never upset with sinners, but only with people who pretend they are not sinners.”

Fr. Richard says, “The shadow self is not of itself evil; it just allows us to do evil without recognizing it as evil.”

We defend our thoughts.

Recently, I noticed myself defending a thought about a type of bracket for the bathroom. My husband had a thought about a different bracket which he defended. These momentary thoughts brought tension between us. We are silly bunnies.

6-20-2022

I feel fear for my kids. I don’t want to take on their problems. I create fears as well as the need to problem solve and control.

I can choose peace. I can see all situations as opportunity, even if it is rough, as it brings their adult experiences.

I choose a God of Love and a world that is well.