Happy Sunday!

So many times in this blog I have looked at the underlying unworthiness that I sense. I think that I have a breakthrough in understanding that will have me move past it. This week I had an insight that may explain the cause of unworthiness within me.

In ACIM study group on Tuesday, discussing Text section 10.III ‘The God of Sickness’, my group leader told us that God loves His creations, us. She then asked, ‘Do you love your creation?’ I considered this question.

What was my creation? Tricia, this worldly self.

Do I love her? Not really.

Suddenly came the idea that asked, Is this the cause of feelings of unworthiness? I sense ‘yes’ (and get an affirmative response asking HS through muscle testing).

I wrote about this in my Lesson 138 (Heaven in a decision that I must make) notes where I also looked deeper at who is the one judging and choosing to love or not. I noticed my attention is always on lower self or Higher Self and not noticing who is noticing!

Can I love my creation?

Yes, I can fill my heart with gratitude and send it to this image of Tricia that I hold. If all I don’t like about Tricia is from ego influences dropped into my mind, and knowing that they are all illusion, logic says that this should be easy to change. But I still feel that old habits will die hard; so many lifetimes of programmed confusion about who I am I expect will disrupt the grace I can place upon my worldly self. I expect quick reactionary thoughts of criticism and judgement will enter my mind first. I need help.

HS, you see the true me when I am blocked in believing myself as the Holy Child of God. Show me the truth. Help me to be kind to my-self and, perhaps, ease me into love. I desire this for my-self as well as to expand my relationships in love.