Happy Sunday! I’m doing something new today by combining a Sunday blog post with a ACIM CE Text notes for today, Day 194. Some big personal insights came to me from this section of the Text.

ACIM CE Text notes – Day 194

T-15-III Littleness Versus Magnitude.

“Love is not little, and love dwells in you, for you are host to Him.” (9.5)

“You know not what love means, because you have sought to purchase it with little gifts, thus valuing it too little to be able to understand its magnitude.” (9.8)

It is my habit to choose littleness As I reflect on the past two years in a loving spiritual community of seminary, I recognize today that my struggles with sharing were my choosing to be little. There were also moments of connection, where I opened my heart and said ‘Yes’ to what HS was guiding me to share. I felt the glory and saw the magnitude in how thing were received by others.

Even now I am sensing that giving credit to HS is choosing littleness. It might be better to say “higher self for me to move toward claiming my magnitude. As I write this, and consider my resistance to claiming my holiness/glory, the thought of levels came up.

Which consciousness am I choosing, the ego/small self’s will or God’s Will for me to be a mirror of Loving Glory? I am not of service to Love when I choose to be small.

Loving small.

My childhood family never said ‘I love you’ to each other but this improved as the family matured. Still, through my adult life I have only said it when I really felt the emotion, and even then I might hold back if I the timing was awkward. I told myself that I was making it special to say it, and that I was correct to not say what I wasn’t feeling. I was not giving what I truly want to receive. I control love. I keep it little — something I think I can manage so my world is planned how I expect it to be. Am I afraid of the big love that may come back if I put big Love out?

Yes. I won’t know what will happen so that is scary.

What Love means.

Back on Day 155, Jesus got my attention by saying I don’t realize how much I hate my brother I understood this to mean that I needed to look at special relationship. I don’t feel hate but there are plenty of other lower emotions that come up in our relationship. This section is giving me some understanding of feelings I hold, like resentment.

Love is not little, but I give out only meager amounts. Still, I long for true love of big magnitude to and satisfy the hole in my soul. I can’t receive what I am unwilling to give and I blame the person closest to me — guilt by association.

I don’t know what love means but I am willing to open to the flow of it through me. I say yes to loving bigger however that may appear in my life.