It can be but myself I crucify.

7-16-2024

“It is indeed but you your mind can try to crucify. Yet your redemption, too, will come from you.” (para.12)

I am thinking of the compassion I found in the previous lesson, seeing the struggles my brothers and sisters put o themselves. This lesson connects in for me.

As I come to see the pain and fear my thoughts bring upon myself, I can ease my judgements of others through understanding that they are going through the same thing internally.

“Once a young woman said to me, 
“Hafiz, what is the sign of someone who knows God?” 

 I became very quiet and looked deep into her eyes and replied, 
“My dear, they have dropped the knife. 

Someone who knows God has dropped the cruel knife 
that most so often use upon their tender self and others.”  ~Hafiz

As I ease the knife away from myself, I also sheath it, not wanting to cause harm to others.

7-15-2023

“The thing you dread the most is your salvation.”

This has me thinking of Marianne Williamson. She elevated herself in the spiritual community by being brave enough to bring this idea into the public awareness – that our greatest fear is our greatness.

“You have sought to be both weak and bound, because you feared your strength and freedom.“

I am stressed over a request I made of a family member. I tell myself it is fine however it plays out so why the stress? Is it because I need to have my way? I think so.

A brief idea becomes so important to me. And once I share the idea then I will defend and attack to retain its merit. (I was going to write ‘establish its merit’ but I realized that within me I give each thought merit right away. There are some I analyze and then reject but all are of great importance to my ego.)

Where is this reflection taking me?

“It can be but myself I crucify.”

This process of defending my thoughts does hurt. How do I change this?

I’m hearing ‘God’s thoughts … God’s way.’

In my current stress, I shared my idea out of love for another. My sharing came a couple of days after I had the idea and was prompted to share by a desire expressed by my loved one.

Was this assisting in God’s will? Are some thoughts I think God’s will? How many do I not act on?

I’m trying to look on my thoughts differently so time to mull this over …

If some of my thoughts are God’s will coming in, I feel some release of stress. The thoughts don’t represent me or define me. Why would I need to defend an instruction?

In addition, if I think my thoughts are only my own, this makes it easier to ignore the instructions to be more engaged with my life.

Great Love, I am afraid. Why?

Why do I defend my separateness when all I want is connection to others?

I sense that this is old stuff … the remnants of ‘a tiny mad idea’ of separation as Robert referenced recently in the Text. T27.VIII.6.2.

(The Text calls for my attention so I will finish this now.)

7-15-2022

“I cannot be hurt except by my own thoughts.”

My body can be hurt in a car accident or by an assault. Is the ‘I’ here not my body but my soul/eternal self?

It is true that there are those who go through bodily pain/damage/struggles and can return loving-kindness. Even to be miserable in physical struggle can be seen as an attack on others who love and care for you and only want your well-being. I can see there is nothing to be gained by being mean just because you don’t feel well. And you ask, ‘where is God?’

I am to remember that God is in all the creation around me including the people who care for me.