Sunday 6-10-18, Conversation 8, More lessons

Another conversation with my higher Self held on a sacred Sunday morning to gain a better understanding.

Happy Sunday!
Yesterday I watched Regina Meredith interview Eileen Day McKusick. They spoke about how past blockage that we hold in our aura and how tones/music can remove them. They spoke about the old model of original sin then Regina added her thoughts of the baby boomer generation. She spoke of how our mothers were told it was best to bottle feed us on a schedule and to let us cry to learn to comply with adult schedules. This taught us our voice doesn’t matter, that we are unworthy. I cried.
I feel weepy now. Let’s talk about that.
Alright … form the question.
How do I get rid of that and release that lack of something (that) I didn’t get to be able to be my best me.
Good question. Let’s break it down though.
Let’s get rid of it (heart pain). I feel shaky from it.
It’s coming up. You know the truths. No one is to blame. Mother thought she was doing the best for her children. Think of where she came from: born during the depression where the only reliable food in the house was mother’s milk. Every other food source was special and wanted. Life was a struggle AND THEN into war when again food was precious.
Finally she made it past those times; food was available to be bought. Technology and leadership had won the war. How could anyone question the recommendations to choose bottles and formula over natural breast feeding? Also, after so much trauma and difficulty, to accept that baby can fit on a convenient schedule suited the PTSD mom (must have given some relief). And, as you know it actually didn’t make life easier for Mom. She had sick crying children all of the time. But she did what she could.
She was there, stay at home Mom, so she gave more that she got from her Mom. And, it wasn’t what she wanted for herself. She did what society dictated so why would she question and think of anything different for her children?
My first experience with seeing a difference in mothering was my sister-in-law who breastfed my niece – I was 10. She was a baby boomer. It seems to me that it took that separation the boomers experienced to push against society’s dictates and to know that we needed to give better to our children.
Yes, the swinging of the pendulum. Feeling better?
Yes, heart feeling better. Forgiveness is here even though that seems like a big word for what just understanding allows … peace, clarity, and Love.
Next part.
So what is it I am lacking from not having the bonding of breastfeeding with my mother?
You are taking on another’s negativity. She held you when you were fed. You had the physical and visual contact. You also had the benefit of contact with others feeding you when perhaps she was not in a good place to be in contact. Her decisions were really most detrimental to her.
Yes. I know the joy, peacefulness you gain when breastfeeding. It’s a meditation time but with an atmosphere of Love. She could have used that meditation time.
She got it for a short period when you and the others were newborns. She took a couple of weeks to recover and bottle feed you.
I recall that a week was spent in the hospital back then.
That was not a good time for the child (bonding) as nurses mostly did the caring. Mom did get some rest though.
… not feeling good after that.
Think about your relationship with your Mom. Was there love?
We had the best connection (of her with her kids) I think. She seemed crazy when I was a child but I understand that; I was crazy with my 2 small children (she had 7). We were friends when I got into my 20s and later.
So a connection was made.
What about the unworthiness root of my psyche?
It did not start with her; it was in the collective consciousness for millennia. Her choices just reinforced it as she was just a player in that play/drama.
So there is no lack?
That is your choice to accept or reject that idea.
So there is nothing from that that I need to work on.
Re-word that statement.
Last part of your question …
Do I have what I need to be my best me?
Oh yes.
I am looking for more reassurance.
Silly girl. Stop taking on lack. You are clear. Choose and accept that. Speak that!
I am clear!
Use your lessons of “I am not that” to stop taking other peoples inner work onto yourself. Actually most people you connect with are clear now. Stay within your group. Bless and pray for those outside (sorry for judgment) and stay conscious that you are not that.
Feel clean and clear. Reinforce that. I hesitate to even say this (to avoid the negative) – stay away from thoughts of lack.
So why did I cry when Regina talked about the bottle fed boomers?
It was a pain from your past but it wasn’t in your awareness. There are countless pains of the past (lives) that could be triggered but they can also lie unknown and not effecting you NOW. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Now – feel good.
Now – be whole.
Now – think clearly about the road ahead. The past is gone.
It has served its purpose to bring you humans to the choices you make today.
The dark has made us choose the light.
Yes. See … done; over with! When you accept the gains the dark brought you to you make it of the light.
The past becomes lighter too.
Keep the higher perspective. (It’s) time to stop going down into the details of the drama. The past is gone.
Don’t repeat the pain. It makes no sense really to allow our minds to replay what is over. Is this the way joy and ecstasy are achieved?
Yes, by staying in the NOW.

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