Sunday 3-20-16 With me, For me.

Happy Sunday!
Joel’s message this morning was that God will balance the books. He said God will balance our negative column of events with positive events. After the show ended there was, as always, an ad for the latest video series from Joel and Victoria. The video title this week caught my attention: ‘With you; For you.’
I recognize that I am in the chapter of my life of learning to put God first. “And why not?” I say to myself as I reflect on today’s message. I know God is with me and I know God is for me.
Earlier this week, the daily video message from Matthew Kelly, Dynamic Catholic, was entitled ‘The Real Problem’. Matthew stated that sin and evil are real; that they are in all of us.
I always push against the idea of sin, I try to make excuses in my mind for my failings or try to find reason to believe sin is not real. Matthew did soften the blow for me. He answered the question of ‘what is sin?’ by the translation from Greek of the word sin, ‘to miss the mark’.
I wrote in my journal, “My sin, not knowing I have to aim!”
The biggest sins of my life are my choices to not get involved, to be indifferent, or to not care. I did not aim to do better, to extend myself, to care through compassion and Love. I realized that ‘putting God first’ is aiming my focus where God would have it be.

On Saturday Matthew said, “There are two question wrestling in our hearts: 1) What do I want? 2) What does God want?” He said what I have come to know over my life experiences (and I believe most of us come to understand) that getting what I want does not provide the lasting happiness that I expected. And, he explained the other part that I too have come to know, that there is a deeper desire that pulls us toward what God wants.
Taking aim.
I recall back when I was a teenager having varying success with my attempts at bowling. Each year the high school marching band would hold a bowl-a-thon fundraiser for the band. I was an awful bowler; almost every shot was a gutter ball. One year my older brother was there as well and he took the time to coach me on my throws. On that game I did really well, I released the ball much more freely, my pushing and struggling against the throw was released by my attention on what my coach intended for me. In sports it is called being in the ‘zone’.
The masters in art, music, and sport all know about ‘the zone’ when you know you have made all the preparations necessary to act and then just let the actions come as they may. With my writing, when I allow the story to flow I know it is not the work of my mind that created the story line.
I think taking aim is to prepare, physically and by setting the intention to create. From there we need to just surrender and let God lead the actions.
Missing the mark.
This morning Hazrat Khan’s message was about overlooking the ups and downs of life. I recognized this as a repeat of a message that I have previously learned from and wrote about last year, 3-23-16. I re-read my lesson to find it was when I was brought to face my past trait of being indifferent to the uncomfortable and unwanted things in my life.
Sin is one of those uncomfortable things.
I want to write that I will try to put God first so I will stay on target but I just watched Wayne Dyer on PBS and he explained that trying is not doing. He dropped a cap on the ground and showed how trying is struggle through each fraction of a movement toward picking it up; like the movement has been broken into a million decision points instead of just one decision to act instantly the cap is picked up and in your hand.
Am I with God?
I want and try to keep God central in my mind – life gets in the way and I find hours have gone by before I check in with my Creator. The gaps are getting smaller. I will come to a time of continuous connection and awareness of God.
Am I for God?
My quick response is to say, Yes! However, the voice in my head tells me ‘no’. I understand that much of my life I want to control, to make my own decisions, solve my problems, without even thinking of turning them over to God.
When I was taking notes the other day about sin I also wrote down that my problem with considering Jesus my savior is about control. I don’t allow myself to think I need saving just like I block the thoughts of sin.
I was asked the other day how to get to inner happiness; I answered to be aligned and connected to Source. Afterward I wished I had said that I know God is with me and for me. This awareness makes me happy – it makes me feel invincible! It just feels good to know God is on your side.
But what if I was with God and for God?
I think this is nirvana, bliss, and the place I really want to be. This is the place where there is no resistance, no conflict, nothing to overcome, just awareness of being connected to All That Is and feeling fine.
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

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