Sunday 1-31-16 ~ A Change is Coming

“Turn and face the strange changes.  Time may change me, but I can’t trace time.” ~ David Bowie
Happy Sunday!
Big changes are coming.  My son is going off to school.  He will be moving out of the home for a long while.
… Big changes for him and, big changes for me.
I feel anxious, excited, happy, sad, worried, and grateful.  Such an example of LIFE in a single event – I am aware of the awesomeness of a milestone such as this and how it brings into play all of the Love and fear that a normal life experiences.
Being a Mom, it’s just a regular practice that a vast amount of humans take on.  There is a new experience of motherhood that I must now learn. That is how to be mother to adult sons.  I have to let them go. It is time for them to figure out life on their own, after all their lives with me being the one to put up boundaries to keep them safe and under my watchful gaze.
It is time to leave the nest for both them and me.  They are about to go outside the reach of my wingspan so there really is no need for me to sit on the nest any longer.
I am anxious for them as they fly away to live their adult lives.  I do know that this is a good thing so how do I get to the place of feeling at peace about it?
I recall a lesson from A Course in Miracles.  I ask “how can I look at this differently?” I wish to see it from my sons’ perspective.
When I moved out of the home I don’t remember being nervous that I would mess up; I was ready. And, looking back now the timing was just right.  Within a year my parents had sold the house and I met my husband and was engaged to be married.
Does the little bird who takes that first flight, leaving the nest to sour over the forest, ever fear the fall to the ground?  I think the fear is just for the parent – the child just takes the leap.
Nature gives us the courage to do what we must to move forward in our evolution.  And the Universe supports us to fly when we act in the direction of our own evolution.
Change is coming …
I fear the separation from them.  Will they still love me?  Will I be important in their lives?  Will what I think, feel, and say matter to them?
These are silly questions.  I know from my own evolution that what I think, feel, and say should not matter to them – that they are characters in their own dramas.  My thoughts and fears are about my own movie and the roles I have given them.  They are not the characters I think they are and I cannot make them stay and play act for me.
I want them to grow and reflect into the world the beings they truly are. I want the mirrors of their hearts to shine forth!
“There must be no feeling of revenge, of unkindness, of bitterness against anyone in the heart. When such a feeling comes, one must say: this is rust coming into my heart. When all such feelings are cleared off the heart, it becomes like a mirror. A mirror without rust reflects all that is before it; then everything divine is reflected in the heart.” ~ Bowl of Sake, 1-31-16, Hazrat Inayat Khan
I want my heart to be rust free so that they always know my Love.
I know I can release my fear as I see how children love even the most terrible of parents.  I strive for my sons to recognize my unconditional love for them and yet a part of me doubts their love for me.
I keep my attention on all the things I think I must do as mother: the planning, preparations, worry, teaching, and guiding.  I need to take some time to just notice their attention toward me.
Just as I want to make my mother happy, my sons must also strive to please me.
Just I send the love from my heart out to them; they must also hope that I feel their love.
Just as Love and connection is so important to me I feel it must also be important to them.
But … nature may have the upper hand in their young lives at this time. For a while, they will take the leap without looking back.  God has given each of us this physical Life to experience with our human senses.  Their attentions will be drawn in many directions as they grow independent. Nature, hormones, society, ego, evolution, and pursuit of happiness will be their focus.
One day they will come back to realizing the importance of connection.  I pray Lord that I may be an instrument in their souls’ finding peace in connection to you and All That Is.
As for me … what will I do with my free time ahead?
Use me Lord.

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