Healing: A trip in the dentist chair.

The following is taken from my journal about my root canal experience on July 28, 2014.
I had root canal today on the tooth that had fear attached due to past trauma.  I set intentions of good things to come from this experience as I have been learning that my resistance, or attention on the negative, can only continue to create the negative (Law of Attraction).  It ended up being a miraculous experience in so many ways – I hope I can remember all the new awareness’s that came to me!
This past weekend I held the intention of sending prayer and faith to the doctors who would work on my tooth. As I was managing the infection, I turned my awareness to healing and supporting my body in the work it was doing.
Last week I had read in the Yoga Sutras of purification of the body so I set an intention of this being purification, a gift for the health of my body. For many years I have had a concern for this old root canal, with its regular inflammation, so I am looking at this as an opportunity to remedy this.  I am grateful.
I had also read in the Yoga Sutras last week of the need for flexibility in the body to overcome adversity so I allowed my body and mind to be flexible and to not stiffen or focus on the discomfort. I was pleased to awaken today to less inflammation in my neck due to the infection.
I set the intention prior to entering the dentist to not let my focus be stuck in my tooth.  I fearfully recall the experience of 25 years ago when a metal frame and rubber sheet attached to my tooth formed a framed work area over my face for the first root canal – this gave me the experience of claustrophobia.  Now I know I can choose not to be afraid and I can move my awareness away from my mouth and let it settle elsewhere in my body – perhaps even out of my body.
Before the dentist began the work I prayed and specifically asked the Holy Spirit for help through the experience.
I told the nurse and the dentist of past difficulties with my lower jaw getting numb. I then surrendered any further concerns.  I told the doctor that my hope was that he would know just the right spot for the shot.  He did.
I had gas during the procedure which was very interesting.  It seemed to create a separation between consciousness and the body.  I could move and respond when asked to. I was surprised by my ability to do so as I no longer felt connection to my body.
At the start the nurse called me Patty.  The doctor, who knows me a long time, started saying Patty so I corrected him.  I realized that I held a negative image of people named Patty due to my not wanting to be called that.  All Pattys were less somehow because of my prejudice.  I decided to free Patty.  The Patty judgement gave me a big ‘Ah-ha”, I recognized these thoughts as coming from the the egoic voice within me.  I thought of the role of the ego as just one of several awareness’s I was conscious of.  I realized that the ego is the internal guide for dealing with worldly social norms so it is not bad but just a tool that can be useful to our human life if we recognize it as such.
As the dental team got underway with their work, beginning with drilling, the engineer in me wanted to know what was going on.  It was interesting that I felt I understood what they were doing in the removal of the crown and rods. This part of me wanted to ask questions and keep an eye on what was happening but I resolved to have faith and not interrupt the team’s work day.  I accepted that it was OK for me to just let them do what they know how to do.
I knew when they came the point that I would be most sensitive with the canals open.  I thought to bring my awareness down into my heart but as the work was occuring my thumbs seemed stiff so I brought my awareness to my thumbs – this as the crown was being removed.  As they began working on the canals I clearly heard guidance to go visit my toes and I did so.  I let my imagination flow, making up stories how it was nice visit to my toes like dropping in on a neighbour for morning tea.
I was given more Novocain into the canals which was the worst pain I felt but still manageable as I was off visiting my toes.  I was reassured by the Doctor that his concern was with me and that allowed me to continue to release control to him and just surrender.
I felt the feelings of peace and well-being and saw a white light before me.  There were interruptions to my distant awareness as my body needed to oblige in the taking of x-rays and impressions.  I thought about leaving my body, perhaps going to visit Mom, but I stayed where I was. (I am not really sure where that was – perhaps on the end of the silver thread!)
I heard the doctor say perfect to the x-ray of the cleared canals and I thought, “Of course!”  This was a miraculous experience I was having after all.  I was in a place of peace and support.  He said perfect again to the impression for the new crown.
At one point they told me it would be 5 minutes to let the post set in the tooth. I wished for them all to leave the room so I could stay with the peaceful awareness I was enjoying.  The nurses seemed to be busy in the room and didn’t restrain their normal talk because I was in this peaceful state – still I was able to remain there and just appreciate them going about their regular work.  This was another instance of a separate awareness happening. I could know and understand what they were doing while I was also on my trip to the peaceful place.
I was disappointed when the nurse said to let her know when I was more alert because I was happy where I was.  My mind was peaceful and distant but was still able to determine that the gas I was now receiving was just oxygen.
The procedure was complete.  I got up, rinsed my mouth, signed the papers, and left. My awareness still seemed apart from my body.  I was able to complete the actions I needed to do even with my mind so disconnected.
As I walked down the porch steps from the dentist I was suddenly aware of the brilliance and beauty of the day.  The sky and the trees were magnificent.  As I approached my house I notice things about my home that I hadn’t before like a vine growing up the porch wall; the colors and the light were just beautiful!
I entered the house to use the bathroom and, when finished, I just had to go back outside to bask in the beauty that my purified awareness was showing to me.  I sat on the deck for what felt to be a short period but was shocked later when I realized it had been an hour.  As I sat outside I was so peaceful and grateful for the beauty of nature around me.  I regretted the separation that I typically choose in staying inside over taking time to be outside. I basked in the Sun on my face and appreciated the healing that it was providing me.  I thanked the Earth mother for her beauty.
I healed well.

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