“Lately I’ve been running on faith; what else can a poor boy do? But my world will be right, when love comes over you.” ~ Eric Clapton
Happy Sunday!
It’s been a troubling few days.  I have had anxiety about the change of living facility for my Mom.  I always want her to be happy.  Perhaps that is not possible … I’ll keep praying though.
I find lately that stress and worrying thoughts are intensely disturbing. I noticed this in the last few months related to my work where it has been non-stop issues.  I see that when I am home relaxing, perhaps meditating, that the thought of an outstanding problem will enter my mind and it will feel like a knife cutting in.  I can usually find a way to push the thoughts away by knowing I don’t have to deal with them at that moment. What also helps is asking the Holy Spirit for help and then having Faith that I will be given a solution to dealing with the problems in their own time.
I have been curious about the extreme difference between my usual state of peace and happiness compared with the sharp stabs of stressful thoughts.  I think that I am at a sensitive stage; my vibration is elevated most of the time so that when those downer thoughts come in they are jolting. This is unexpected. (As all steps of the journey are ‘how can we know what we don’t know?’)  What was expected was peace and acceptance of all things.
What I am realizing is that this stage is causing me to use the tools that I have learned:  to keep the Faith, surrender to God, and know all will be well.
Something I want to clarify here is this action and reaction is occurring in my mind.  I have also been good with checking on what my heart is saying.  I haven’t forgotten the big lesson from Abraham that our heart is our guidance system; it lets us know when we are in alignment with our greater Self.
Last night I was letting some worrying thoughts enter my mind about Mom.  I took notice of my heart and it was tightening.  I immediately recognized my mind was mistaken, I released the thoughts and my heart relaxed.
I can just imagine those I love, who have yet to learn this information, thinking that I am wrong (and crazy). They want to tell me that I have to think about everything that they see before them; I choose to be choosey.
For too long, too many of us have only known of ourselves as our thoughts.  How sad.  There is so much power and satisfaction in knowing you are the operator of all these wonderful elements of who you are.  We human’s need an owner’s manual to learn to operate each part of our being.
My body is a wonderful gift that brings me the sensory data of this world; there is also an autonomous intelligence there that I am only just recognizing. I think my brain is a receiver for connection to something greater than me, perhaps the collective consciousness.  My heart, I know, is my connection to All That Is, and my true Self.
My mind is a curiosity.  Part of it is a tool, a data processor of what my senses bring in; it analyzes and wants to solve everything. It just wants to go on processing so I need to sooth it to have it rest.  And, when it is running, I can choose to utilize the information it provides or not.
But who is choosing?  Is this not mind as well?
And then there are the guiding thoughts that come; the whispers in my right ear.  Who is that? Some say that it is my guardian angel.  Curious!
I wonder, as I go forward, if I will learn there are more aspects of me that will be revealed. It certainly seems like there is a lot happening in here.
So back to trouble … the recent situation hit me hard.  There was a worried part of my mind that was questioning the decisions we made regarding Mom.  There was the part of me that knew that our journey to this point of decision was open and willing to follow guidance that came, that our intensions were true, therefore I just had to stay open and keep the Faith.
My body seemed to react to the anxiety releasing stress hormones that were upsetting my gut.  My awareness knew I could help this situation so I sent Love from my heart to my body telling it that it was loved and it was well – that all would be well.
It was a bright lovely day today.
Joel spoke of the blessings of the valley – exactly what I am learning.  That even in the low times God will still bring the blessings, we just have to be open and aware to receive them.
I think I might have witnessed a miracle today.  My mother, my friend, seemed to be fully present today.
Thank you Lord, for all the blessings.
“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his gracious love is eternal.” ~ Psalm 118:1