Sunday 12-14-14 Over thinking

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”  Eckhart Tolle
Sunday night and I haven’t written my blog yet.  I did watch Joel this morning but much of my Sunday routine did not happen.
I was disturbed that my routine was disturbed.
What terrible thing was it that messed up my Happy Sunday?  A Christening in the family and then trim trimming at home with my husband and kids!
I am pleased that I am feeling fulfilled this evening from the events of the day even though the day didn’t follow the outline that has worked for me these last couple of years.
So why do I expect that only my regular routine will refresh my soul, open my heart, and make me happy?
Control; I just want things to go as I expect them to be.   Even wonderful events like spending time with family and friends disturb me as I first tend to think of them as taking me away from all that I am supposed to be doing.
What am I here for if not to interact with the other people (and souls) who share this life with me?
I ask myself this question all of the time.  I am aware that I am wrong in my initial responses to change in my routine – my awareness is a good thing.
How do I more quickly get to acceptance and then appreciation of the changes in my routine?
Nothing is more important than being with the people in my life.  Perhaps the house doesn’t get clean, the Christmas decorations remain in the attic, my writing lingers, even my blog gets delayed or missed.
Tricia, people first.
I think I am one of those people that love by doing.  My history is that of showing love by doing for others so they appreciate me.  Worse than that, for most of my life I only liked Me because of my accomplishments.
It seems all the doing is a hard habit to break.  I make the plans to be with others – that is great, I’m heading the right way.  Now I just have to remove the feelings of regret that I am supposed to be doing something else.  I still have this belief that being with others is not productive.  It’s too much fun so I shouldn’t be doing that, I should be working.
I want to break this belief because how can I be fully present with an open heart when part of my mind is thinking that I should be doing something else.  I know that others feel my energy so they will sense my lack of attention.  I also know that my intention entering an experience is important.  So if I accept an invitation to attend a party and my intention is to be distracted, complaining, or acting like I have something better to do, how rude is that!
On Friday evening I was complaining that I had a booked weekend of parties with friends and family.  I should have been rejoicing!  I recognize all of this now and I want to change it.
I want to rejoice in the good things that come and revel in the events as they happen – the tasks will wait for me.
Those I love pass too quickly.  Even more quickly when they turn away from me because I didn’t give them what they sought from me – my Love.
So today, Holy Spirit, I ask for your continued assistance.  I am to the point of recognizing this issue – now I want to overcome it.
My heart is glad after the lovely events of this weekend.  Now I want the glad heart before.  I want my mind to think ahead of time of the people I Love; I want to consciously set the intention of being present with my beloved ones when opportunity allows us to be together.
I want to put down my tools and let my heart bask in the beauty of those I love.
I want to see with the eyes of my soul!
“Today I want depth. I want soulful connection. I want to be able to communicate more from my heart than my head. And I want laughter. Lots of joyful, gut-busting laughter.” ~ Cheryl Richardson

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