Sunday 10-13-13 – Breaking Through.

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” Matthew 25:40 English Standard Version

Happy Sunday!

I woke up this morning with the church hymn based on the above verse running through my head, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do onto me.”
I have been working on a hard lesson this week which I believe started last week with my blog story about being bold and courageous.  I had this underlying fear as I was writing last week that my ego might grab hold of the pride I was feeling about having courage and I would get pulled away from living wholeheartedly.  The ego did get the upper-hand this week but I kept my awareness on my thoughts, recognizing them as negative.  It was a week of struggle but I stayed in faith and asked the Holy Spirit for understanding of others actions and of my behavior towards them.
It is October so it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month; this bothers me.  A couple of years ago I made the decision to no longer support medical charities as information I read, mostly from Doctor Mercola’s newsletters, showed to me that most of these charities have become corporation like; their messages being about collecting more and more money to fund screenings and treatments but not promoting healthy lifestyle and good life choices.  This became very clear to me when reports about cancer screenings for breast cancer and prostate cancer showed they were ineffective at saving lives and posed more risk of false positives and unnecessary treatments. The cancer charities fought new national guidelines with fear based arguments to sway public opinion to keep paying for the screenings.  They seemed to have their own self interest in mind and I had mine; I hate mammography so I decided to stop getting them and I decided to send my charitable contributions to those in dire need, the poor and children’s charities.
Another side to my opinion on cancer is that many spiritual teachers speak about cancer being caused by our psyche; that our holding on to negativity for years metastasizes into matter in the form of cancer cells.  I will say that I don’t fully understand this but still I have held it in my mind as another reason to feel negatively towards cancer charities and organizations.
So at work this week there were several activities going on supporting cancer awareness and I found myself spending much time making judgements about them.  My heart did recognize what my head was saying, negative things about supporting big business and even, that all the focus was perpetuating the problem.  My heart recognized my need for a change of perception and that my negativity and judgement had to be wrong.  I asked each day for understanding and I set aside time this weekend to reflect on the questions.
I started my searching with the question, if cancer survivors get involved in these charities out of fear or out of love?  My first answer was fear.  That they felt they had to do something to take back some control of their lives, the cancer coming and making them a victim.  I saw that my reaction was also fear based, my wanting everyone to have awareness to know what is best for themselves, to not believe our fear based culture, so that we can ‘save our planet’.
I continued to struggle within myself wanting to declare their actions wrong and my beliefs to be right but, my mind kept returning to the statement that there is no right and no wrong; this lesson coming from what I have been reading in the book ‘Conversations With God’, by Neale Donald Walsch.  The message in this book is that we are here manifested on Earth to experience all sides of light and dark as one cannot be known without the other.  No right, no wrong, just experience; each of us taking on a different role in the whole of experience.
I still could not see where the Love was, it wasn’t in me, and my perception was still that the others were in fear.
I was trying very hard to see the situation from the perspective of the other, trying to break my ego’s hold that I was in the right.  On Saturday morning I was praying about this and pondering the idea that if cancer came to me if I could have the faith to not get caught in fear and perhaps heal myself when a story I heard many years ago popped into my head.

A man was a drift alone out at sea.  He prayed “Lord come save me!”  A fishing boat came along and tried to rescue him but he refused saying “God will save me.”  Soon came a ship and then a helicopter to rescue him.  He refused both keeping to his declaration that God would save him.  He died.  Standing before the light of God he asked why God did not save him.  God’s replied, “I was there three times, in the fishing boat, the ship, and the helicopter.”

The big A-HA! hit me the instant the memory of the story entered my mind.  We are God’s hands, God’s eyes, God’s actions here on Earth to help each other.  My mind opened to the recognition that Doctors aren’t the bad guys, they are here doing what they do to help us, that is Love.  Cancer victims organize and support one another, giving Love to each other and giving hope to those who need it.  Giving Love where there is fear.
I write this now and it all seems so obvious, something that I probably wouldn’t have struggled with at other times in my life.  That ego, he is a trickster, taking my new trait of courage and amplifying it so nothing else could get through.  I felt all week like my heart could not break through the barricade of judgement and self righteousness that had been built in my mind by my ego.  I am now reading Brene Brown’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection”, in which she defines courage as “to speak one’s mind by telling all in one’s heart.”  So take that ego, courage does not come from you!
Thank you Lord that my heart could see, and recognize the Love behind what others were doing to support one another.  Thank goodness my heart doesn’t give up and knows where to go for assistance.
So yesterday I learned another lesson toward seeing the Love in my brother.  This morning that old hymn reminded me that the Love between us is our gift back to God.
All are One!
“Oneness is very simple: everything is included and allowed to live according to its true nature. This is the secret that is being revealed, the opportunity that is offered. How we make use of this opportunity depends upon the degree of our participation, how much we are prepared to give ourselves to the work that needs to be done, to the freedom that needs to be lived.”  ~ Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

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