Sunday 7-14-13 Work and Acceptance

Happy Sunday!

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.”  ~ Denis Waitley
At lunch last Sunday we were having a conversation about relationships and I said that we choose our partners as they best reflect back to us the Work we need to do on ourselves.  In my mind I was giving a nod to Iyanla Vanzant and how she speaks about how we all have to do “our Work”, our self reflection to see situations with LOVE instead of fault, blame, or fear – this is how we grow.  George seemed to have a problem with understanding my point because he seemed to be caught on my use of the word ‘Work’.  I attempted to clarify this with my understanding of Earth being a school so the Work is our lessons that we need to do to evolve.  I could see in his face he wasn’t accepting my view.  He felt acceptance was what relationships were about.  So this week I have been reflecting on my idea of Work and the meaning of acceptance.
All week I knew I would write about this topic but I needed to put aside the time to think about it.  On Thursday I was out to dinner with my husband so I told him what I was thinking about for my writing this week, acceptance and Work.  Peter said that they were opposites. I hadn’t thought about that way as, again, the Work I meant was internal reflection on my perspective of a situation.  I believe Peter meant a person either accepts a situation or works at changing the situation.
So, with the weekend finally here, I am taking the time to reflect on these two ideas.  I have explained what I think of when I use the word Work, what I have been thinking of this week when I think of acceptance is surrender and turning the situation over to God.  Now I think this is not right either.
I just realized that doing “our Work” is what allows us to get to that place of acceptance.
As I write this I keep thinking of how many examples of this were shown on Iyanla’s TV show.  Of children better understanding their parent’ behavior and actions once they are given all of background and history.  With this information, as well as learning that the parents acted with Love the best they knew how, the child’s anger drops away and acceptance enters the heart so Love can return.
Iyanla has worked with many adults who reveal they were molested as children.  She guides them to feel the pain they have been hiding, making them do their Work to see that they themselves were blameless, so they can accept who they are and rebuild their lives.
It is hard work.  My Work has been Accepting my self as worthy.  I sometimes feel like I am going slip back into minimizing myself but I say “No, no, no.  I am not going there. I know who I am now.”
I Work each day to see the Love in others and thereby Accept their behavior – it may not be as I want it but they have their own reasons and perception of the situation so I must Accept the choices they are making in this moment.
(I am capitalizing ‘Accept’ now as, through this Work, it has become a significant, Sacred word for me.)
I Accept that in relationships there is a time to walk away.  We can try to live with acceptance of the other person but, when we recognize we are being harmed, we need to accept an end to the relationship.
I Accept the people who come into my life and what I have to learn from them.
(Thanks George.)
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.” ~ author unknown

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