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Happy Sunday!
Earlier this week I was working on a final end-of-year paper for seminary. I had set myself a good outline structure for the document, so the writing was going smoothly as I wrote about the key learning points that had happened for me in my spiritual growth this past year. In the middle of the document I hit a writer’s block. My mind was full of everything yet to write but my pace slowed down and distractions were threatening to pull me away. I got the sense that a conversation with HS was needed.
So … I opened up a notebook and this is how the conversation went:
How are we, You and me, after this year of seminary? [We’re good … growing together slowly, and closely.] Slowly sounds problematic? [It is your pace. You are in control which is fine. You are progressing in this way which is impressive. Not many can grow without breaking first.]
Thank you. It has been a year of blessings. How do I best express this in this homework paper? [You are wonder-full.]
I sense that you mean wonder such as in ‘awe’ – am I full of awe? [On your way … there can be so much more.] (An image of flowers growing comes to me.)
Is it awe that brings forth the flowers? Perhaps awe for the warmth of the Sun? [More like desire to live, move, grow, to be engaged in life.]
I’m not there yet … except when I trust. [Yes!] I thought that my main issue was that I did not trust God. This tells me that I do not trust life.
[Good insight. Your faith will always return you back to God (as it has in past troubles). Being willing to live in this world boldly, freely, is joy.]
Like the dormant plants, I am meant to desire to live. Can I get there? [Only you can decide that.]
Living boldly is being in the flow of Love. [Of course it is. You can only resist, even though you think you can hide.]
Then I create all of the turbulence in my life? [Some. There are risks to life as you do not live alone. The plant that grows cannot ensure that it won’t get eaten away by an animal. And yet it was worth reaching and stretching and greening to feel as much of the flow as it could while it could.]
So, I am limiting myself from Love flowing through me? [You could be so much more expansive, shine brighter, bring more to others and the planet.]
I could choose to be a wider conduit for Love. [Yes … too small now.]
What this conversation told me was that I had some new lessons coming on trust. I was able to note in my paper that there was more reflection needed on this, allowing me to move on and complete my homework assignment.