“I choose the joy of God instead of pain.” ~ ACIM Lesson 190.

This ACIM lesson, from July 9th, was the start of a new beginning in me. While writing the lesson notes, I realized that I had a block to joy. It being a quiet Sunday morning, I was able to spend time working through this. This was the start of a month-long journey with the Body Code’ eliminating many blocks over my heart. (I released my heart wall just this past week.)

On July 9th, I went deep into the emotion of abandonment within myself and my ancestral line. I came away with two new understandings. First, that joy is a gift to me from my ancestors who struggled so I could live in joy. As an elderly man, I recall my father smiling all the time. He learned to let things go and find his joy.

The second understanding was that joy is the gift of Love/God that must be shared. From this I felt that I have a fear of sharing with others. In my journal I wrote:

“This explains my block to joy. It is the one gift of Love that I can’t contain. It requires me to share it. Come joy, come. I welcome you. Be my reason to leave my sanctuary, my hermitage, to share life once again in this world with others.”

I made a declaration, and things happened.

About a week later, while watching an ‘Everyday Miracles’ group webinar, a lady mentioned being an interfaith minister after attending Seminary with One Spirit. I felt compelled to look up this program. For the next few weeks, I kept my questioning mind quiet as I researched, interviewed, and applied for the two-year education program.

I’ve changed.

As I worked on the essays for the seminary application, I became aware that I had come through a period of ‘undoing’. Retirement, the changes with my adult kids, the quietness of my life, all were evidence that I had let go of the things I previously identified with. I had tried to control so much just to be able to tell the person I thought I was that she was ok.

It’s Time.

On Friday, I was accepted into the ‘One Spirit’ Seminary. The admissions director, before he told me in our Zoom call that I had been accepted, guided me in a visioning meditation. At the start, he had me take my thoughts about my past spiritual journey and wrap them in a soft blanket. (During this part of the vision, I saw my Dad’s smiling face hovering over all of the memories which I see now as his blessing.) In the meditation, I felt resistant to wrapping up my past journey as all of it is so precious to me. But I let go as I came to understand that this part of the vision was to bring me to “beginner’s mind’ – to be open to learning new things.

I was then taken to envision a path. I thought of my spiritual path spirally gradually around Mt. Truth. I saw the very difficult vertical paths up the mountain and the level one I follow gradually headed off around the bends of the mountain side. A new junction appeared, rising more steeply in gradient than my previously chosen path. I took the new path to the left and saw a sign. The admissions director told me that it said “Welcome Tricia! His message was that I was accepted. The message of the vision was that I am to accelerate my growth toward the spiritual summit.