Happy Sunday!

Life is about discovering the right questions more than having the right answers. ~ Center for Action and Contemplation, 6^th core principle.

Early this month I began seeing a chiropractor, Dr. R, who also uses many other modalities in her practice. Two times she did kinesiology on me to find the past events that I hold in my energy field that affect my body. The first scan told me that I feel abandoned as a mother – still processing this.

The second scan took me back to being 10 years old and being embarrassed in front of my family for falling while trying to show off doing the ‘agility drill’ I had learned at school. This event led to teasing by my siblings for years. My sister once told me that this event changed me, so I look at it as the event that changed me from my ‘divine child’, Pollyanna, happy little girl. Dr. R. had a different perception. She said I had a fear of not being worthy leading up to this time and this event confirmed it!

I found it strange that this event, that I’ve been aware of and have worked on in the past decade, are still held in my body. I journaled as I wondered if the mind is really not that useful. Everything around me knows so much better than me: HS, God’s way, body intelligence, angels, my guides. I asked the question, why I should even think at all?

October 13^th.

The next morning, as I meditated, I did some body scans which I found released blocks and brought healing. I came to realized that I should not just rule out my mind, like everything it is a gift from God. My mind is the field in which questions form and where understanding enters.

The same morning, while working on ACIM lesson 286, I got frustrated at not getting an answer to my question. I asked a big question of HS about why we must be so far separated from God. I chose to say in my lesson write up that I didn’t get a response because it was after a silent pause, was not strong, and was not what I was ready to hear.

October 14^th.

The next day, I took a walk in the morning. As I got ready, I looked through the listing of Oprah Super Soul Sessions to chose who I wanted to listen to as I walked. I have passed over the session with Glennon Doyle many times but this morning I chose it. I cried through most of my walk as I listened to the podcast.

Glennon told of a difficult time in her life at the end of her marriage. Through counseling, she realized that she had shut down from her body at 10 years old. (This synchronicity pulled me in!) Due to childhood stress, eating disorders, and cultural influences, she had censured her body. She said, “I threw my body off the island.”

I did this too! My young adult life striving to appear intelligent. These later years seeking to expand my spirit. The body only getting attention when illness came. My interest in healing modalities from fear of the body being a problem.

The tears started when she stated that we are a trinity like God: body, mind, and spirit.

Going to Dr. R. had shown me that the body is there taking in everything. I have used it to inform my choices of what to put in it or how to exercise it, but not reaching true healing as I’ve ignored it instead of loving it. The body is so smart, and another helper to me in this life. Another sacred blessing.  

From my ACIM lessons I know “I am not the body.” Now, I feel this needs to be updated.

I am not the body, but the body is me! I am its co-creator, maintainer, and beloved.