Happy Sunday!

As I do on Sunday mornings I listened to a homily by Fr. Richard Rohr. Today’s was from 9-1-19 called ‘Capitalist Economy and Gift Economy’.  The quote I wrote down for reflection this morning was that we need to “change life from economy of merit to economy of gift.”

As my attention was drawn to this idea I heard in my mind the song …

“I see trees of green, red roses too. I see them bloom for me and you; and I say to myself – what a wonderful world.”

From the song “What a Wonderful World”, written by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, performed by Louis Armstrong (1967).

My thoughts occasionally move toward living in the way of giving, believing in an abundant life. My foot begins to step forward in that direction but my weight quickly shifts back to my rear foot and I choose to stand solidly in the stance of merit.

I did, I deserve. They should do for themselves. (Some of my deepest thoughts but Fr. Rohr corrects me by saying “you don’t deserve anything.)

And yet, I know so much more than these thoughts; knowing: life is abundant, you reap what you sow, God is Love, as well as that the Sun and Earth give unconditionally.

I have been taught, socialized to believe, that my merit, self-worth, comes from what I do and how well I achieve. (This is that worthiness thing showing its head once again.)

How do I break this belief?

Do I want to break this? (Not sure I do as it may still be all my sense of worthiness is based on.)

Fr. Rohr spoke about Luke 14:1, 7-14 Jesus said to have a feast and invite the poor, cripples – those who could not reciprocate. This does not feel good to me.

What if they want more? What if their struggles come in to affect my life?

I don’t feel I am strong enough to stay centered in the place of my heart consciousness with this potential possibility. And yet, I think of an Ubuntu community (as described by Michael Tellinger), where everyone shares, participates, gives time toward the success of the community. This feels right, doable.

I see that taking these steps of change doesn’t feel right on my own but do feel right as a community. Is this an example of change to come? Will evolution be through the efforts of individuals? Or, somehow this will be different, and new, that groups are to form to bring these changes so that we step forward together. (Feels good, easier.)

And yet – perhaps this is a cop-out on my part.

Be the change you want to see in the world!

Do I push forward? Or, do I take the way of ease – the path that feels good?

I will take steps in the direction of giving.

Dear Source, help me on this path. Let it show itself clearly.