“It is the lover of God whose heart is filled with devotion who can commune with God, not he who makes an effort with his intellect to analyze God.” ~ Bowl of Saki, July 10, by Hazrat Inayat Khan
Happy Sunday!
I have fallen back into my struggle with Jesus again.  I downloaded an ebook this week that is written by a member of an online writers group that I belong to.  The book is the description of her relationship with Yeshua (Jesus). I do believe in the kind of relationship she tells of, her ongoing dialogue, lessons, and intimacy with Jesus.  There were a few things that Jesus said (in the first 50 pages that I’ve read so far) that do not sit well with my own beliefs so I am feeling confused and uncomfortable again with my Lord.
At first, as I began the book, I felt uncomfortable with the intimacy of the author with Jesus. I questioned how a person could live their everyday physical life with so much intimate thoughts of love for the Lord while maintaining their love for the people in their lives. I was thinking over all this while driving into work on Thursday.  I parked my car, my mind still full of questions; I began my walk to the office when Jesus hit me with the directive, “Stop thinking!”
OK, I was over thinking it all.  Couldn’t I just let there be Love?
On Friday, my morning ‘bowl of Saki’ brought me the same message.  I have used this as my quote at the top of this blog.
This weekend I continued to read the book of Yeshua and find I still can’t let my mind release.  There are just too many questions.
There are two issues that bother me most from what I have read recently.  First, there seems to be missing the idea of equanimity in this Jesus (Yeshua).  He says that Jewish people are the chosen ones and are special to him.  He clarifies that he is a Jew.  I have no problem with Jewish people; I admire them and feel an affinity as my grandmother was born Jewish.  I also don’t argue that Jesus was a Jew.  Like I said, my problem is with equanimity, why would Jesus feel a preference toward the Jews?  Shouldn’t he feel the same about all of us?
My second issue was statements made by Jesus of harm coming to those who pervert the messages of the gospels.  He will smite them.  I hate that word smite.  How can unconditional love bring smite?
So this morning I decided to resolve these questions of my mind.  I was told to stop thinking but I couldn’t let it be so I decided to just ask.  I asked Jesus for the answer to my question regarding equanimity.
I began thinking of my relationship with my husband.  I felt the great love I feel for him today.  I felt the appreciation for the love and acceptance I receive from him.  This is all new; not long ago it was different.  He is my mirror as the Sufi teaches.  In the past I was judgmental and critical of him and that is what I received back.
Each of our special relationships, our family, is the environment that reflects our behaviors and needed lessons back to ourselves.  They are our sacred contracts of the work we came to do to evolve and return to our True Selves.
AH HA! Of course the Jewish people are special to Jesus; they are his family and are where his sacred contracts are held!  (This takes my mind back to my blog about Jesus and Judas!)
In Michael Newton’s book ‘Journey of Souls’, one of his clients, under hypnosis, spoke of souls in the afterlife looking like grapes on a vine with branches and stems connecting clusters together – soul families.
Onto my second question, could Jesus really harm those who pervert or corrupt his message?
I received a couple of insights that helped to expand my beliefs about this.  The first came this morning when I read my daily ACIM message from the book ‘Holy Shift’ by Robert Holden.  My closing quote is the verse from ACIM that Robert offered today.
I realized this is Law of Attraction. Jesus is teaching that we smite ourselves.  We are given the opportunity to choose.  I know that we are offered guidance and insight toward the way of well-being. When we choose the opposing path the sword will fall.  LOA.  You reap what you sow.
Jesus is teaching to us the laws of the Universe – you attract to you what you put out.
In the pages of the Yeshua book that I read this morning Jesus clarified the passage of turning the other cheek. He said the passage was ‘turn the left cheek’ which meant offer love, compassion, prayer to those who cause us ill not that we have to martyr ourselves by accepting more abuse.  (LOA in the lesson again.)
The last insight that came to me this morning on this subject was stated by Yeshua in the book.  He said he was a King and not a sugar-coated divinity.  I thought of the recognition of my own strength over the last couple of years.  My mind always says ‘grace under fire’ when I am in the situations that need strength.  Being strong, frustrated, or angry does not always have to come from mis-judgement, it could be correct in its reaction to the other’s corruption of Truth.  And, retaliation does not always have to be from a negative, attacking intention but may come from the need to clarify the Truth.  A great King is wise in this way.  Some battles have to be fought.
As I stood up from my reflective conversation Jesus, my teacher, had one more message for me.
He said, “We are all, All Tricia.”
And so it is.
“The way is simple. Every time you feel a stab of anger, realize you hold a sword above your head. And it will fall or be averted as you choose to be condemned or free.” ~ ACIM, Workbook-p 1. Lesson 192. 9:3-7.