“We trust in the dark, we do not trust in the light.” ~ Caroline Myss

Happy Sunday!

Leave it to Caroline to be blunt and speak openly what she knows to be true of our culture. I watched a video that Mastin Kipp posted on his “Daily Love” blog yesterday in which he interviewed Caroline about Grace within crisis.
Caroline knows how in few words to say what will break through the false images of this life to make us really see things with the eyes of our souls. Following the short quote I posted at the top of the page Caroline told of the archetypal pattern we all experience around the age of 7. At that time we each choose to take an independent action that goes against the rules of the tribe. We get caught and then are faced for the first time with the decision of speaking the truth about our actions or not. This ‘age of reason’ milestone teaches our minds the juggling act of weighing all the negative outcomes against just speaking the Truth of our hearts.
(I wonder what would happen to the child who responds ‘I was feeling really powerful and wanted this world to reflect an action that I independently decided to take’. In the ‘old age’ parenting the child would probably get such strength beat out of him. Can the ‘new age’ parents accept the awe and wonder of such awareness in the child’s being?)
Caroline’s example brought to me the awareness of how we spend our lives manipulating the words that come from our mouths because of roles, expectations, and beliefs that smother our true selves all for the sake of being what we think society needs us to be.
I see that we don’t believe in Truth. We will say what we think others want to hear just twisting it enough to manipulate things toward what we want to achieve. What our society doesn’t know is that we all feel the intention behind all communication so we know when words are not authentic, because of this we live in a culture of dis-trust.
I had a situation come up this week at work that bothered me for a few days, perhaps still and this is why Truth is part of my reflection today. I have a project that I am the engineer for an outside agency so this is different from my typical role as working as owner and engineer on the project. My client on this project sent me an email asking how to get some utility work done by the end of the week, this giving just four days to accomplish. Utility work involves coordinating with several outside corporations and their own internal departments and processes to perform the work.
The first response that came to my mind to say to my client was “You must be living in a dream world; you can’t get a utility to do anything that quickly!” I realized that this reactive response was more of an attack so I asked my self what is my Truth which gave me the response I sent of “I don’t have a clue”.
Please understand that my truthful response did not smooth everything over instead I quickly got a telephone call with a very upset individual on the other side. I explained that I do know the actions to take to get the work orders going but that my experience was that the utilities had there own priorities and processes. I received no feedback of understanding, they seemed to be caught up on their own embarrassment of how things will look that the project isn’t completed on time. I recognized that they would not hear me and that I should just go through the processes until they gain understanding by experiencing it for themselves. By Thursday they had that experience.
I did a lot of worrying for a few days about how I handled my response looking to see if there was fault. Perhaps there was if I was to speak as is typical to a client, perhaps it was expected that I would just say ‘oh yes, it will be just as you say’ knowing that this was not true. I answered directly as I understood the situation to be but they were not yet ready to receive the response. And, perhaps next week they will still not accept that things didn’t go as they wanted so there may be blame coming my way. From their perspective they may see me as being at fault.
For me I have weighed my actions against the filter of “did I do the best I could in this situation?” Well I do question that a bit as I had that voice in my head that told me that this would be an issue at the end of the project. I hope that this will have taught me to further trust my intuition and to speak up in the future instead of assuming that others will realize what I know about the process. I do not regret the words I did speak, they were authentic but there is more to learn.
I am now thinking of the Dalai Lama who says that kindness is his religion. From this situation and my close relationships I believe I am still not balancing kindness with truthful words. Holy Spirit please help me to learn to speak truthfully representing myself while also being aware of kindness.
This morning Joel spoke of Peace coming from Trust in God.
Joel said that ‘still waters run deep’ in terms of our being able to hold onto Peace deep down within ourselves even though a storm of wind and waves may be disturbing the surface.
I Trust in the Light and know that when I act from my true self, even though there maybe a storm generated from those actions for a short time, the Light will shine again and bring me so much more clarity because of the trip through the storm.
I trust in the light.
I will recognize the energy that flows through me as Grace.
I will stay aware of an intension of kindness.
 
“Authenticity is a practice. It is a choice to be made everyday, every hour of every day.” ~ Brene’ Brown