Conversation 9 with higher self.

Happy Sunday!
This conversation is a follow up to some experiences on Wednesday, July 4^th when watching Regina Meredith on Open Minds interview Marguerite Rigoglioso about female energy, oracles, and Goddess.
I want to go down this path of the Goddess.
Yes. What’s your question?
Where do I start?
Inside.
Ok, so on Wednesday from watching the show with Regina & Marguerite I realized that I have blocks to acknowledging/accepting Goddess personas and their gifts and messages. I realize this is from my socialization in this life and in the past. Where do I look? What is the thing that will break through this block?
Marguerite.
I checked out her site. I’m not feeling it right now.
Give it another try.
My mind keeps replaying that she said that there are no stories of mythology or in the culture of good mother and daughter relationships so that makes me feel that there is no place to look. And, as far as the women of the bible and gospels, I feel like those stories are tainted as well.
Look outside the bible for more on these women (Sarah in France comes to mind) there are many around the world with great faith and belief in Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene.
So I should expect that there will be more written and researched for me to find?
Yes.
Is there an easier way to experience the Goddess without relying on research and logic? (Happy YES!)
I recall my AHA (acceptance of) with channeling related to learning of the Koran (I learned the name meaning recite). Logical acceptance is great and has been my way but perhaps I can just try experience.
Doubts have crept in.
Yes … the benefit of acceptance through logic is when I change and express the changes I have a logical reasoning to express to others. If I just move into Goddess things (I envision dancing and flowy clothing) that I won’t have the logical response.
You don’t know what it will bring.
I know that I don’t know. I suppose I am back to my initial question of where to start from? And, I hear your same response of Marguerite.
Go. Give it a try. It’s not all for your but it is a guide to the next thing.
I feel like it is time for other things to fall away. Do I go on with Delores’ books?
Yes.
Twitter?
No.
Why?
It’s feeding the ego. You don’t need to know what’s going on nationally to prepare for your role to give to your tribe.
I am disturbed by an item I saw yesterday regarding DW leaving Gaia. I don’t know if it’s true but it disturbs my heart.
It’s just a change that you don’t want and aren’t prepared for.
So why such a strong feeling?
You’re still trying to control your life – trying to keep everything to match your expectations.
Isn’t that what 5D, being a creator is about, manifesting your thoughts and desires?
But … you cannot overrule the thoughts and desires of others.
This is a big lesson to learn. It seems to me it will be easier to learn once we have telepathy and can sense others want or do not want.
It’s too late then as you will also be at the time of fast manifestation. You must learn now to consider the needs of others.
I am feeling concerned now because getting to know and love me has really improved my life. Many teacher say it’s about knowing ‘this one’ (Sadhguru).
When you know ‘this one’ well then you should  be able to understand what others will also feel about your actions.  “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.”
So in the case of DW and feeling disturbed by the possible change I need to surrender/allow events to unfold – no resistance. He should choose what’s best for his life.
Resistance is the source of the heart disturbance.
I need to bring that tool, acknowledging the emotion/feeling as resistance, back into my awareness.
Now it is interesting that I don’t have that strong feeling about Marguerite. It’s more just like I just don’t want to do it (like going to work). It feels childish.
Rebellion instead of resistance.
Rebellion seems worse.
Rebellion is action which will bring an experience. Any experience is good as it will take you somewhere, right or wrong.  Resistance is blocked energy which is cutting you off form the flow of Life/Source.
As I had a strong feeling with my resistance, is this an indication of energy already in motion?
Energy is always in motion except when it is stopped with intension by humans or other conscious beings. It is not an indication of what you think, that it can tell you the truth of something. It only indicates if you are in the flow with it or not.
Aren’t there times to resist as there can be energy flows for negative reasons?
Don’t block energy flow within you. It can be redirected. Love is the answer. Change the flow toward the positive even if it is only your own thoughts of putting positivity, Love, and acceptance on something that you recognize as negative.
A short while later I was getting dressed to go out to lunch while in my mind I was working on releasing resistance. As I thought over the situation, from a possible perspective of the other to help the energy flow, I felt all flowy and wanting to dance. Was I feeling the Goddess energy?
Male energy is doing. Female energy is being. I am beginning to think that being isn’t being still but more of a ‘flow filter’ to allowing things to move through that are in coherence with All That Is. If the female side of God is Sophia, Grace, or the Holy Spirit these energies are not ‘nothing’. They are the Love, comfort, and nurturing of All That Is.