Happy Sunday!
This morning when I turned on Joel Osteen his opening joke told me I had heard this sermon before. I felt the negativity kick in – I have experienced a lot of stress this week which has given me the added work of keeping the craziness of my mind in check. Joel began the sermon by saying he would be speaking about keeping things out of our secret space. My mind immediately jumped to say “just great, I know this one…” But, before my mind judged and ridiculed the program my true Self lit up as I recalled the specialness of this message.
Thanks to Joel this morning I’ve decided to use this blog post today to write my testimony, one of many, to the greatness of God in my life.
Back in September my son, being the innocent open person that he is, was taken in and manipulated by another person. This situation led to some unfortunate trouble for him that could have negatively impacted his life for a very long time.
It was a tough couple of weeks but miraculously that is all it ended up being – a couple of weeks. I found support and peace through this period from the spiritual growth and lessons I was experiencing. I wrote in August and September about my renewed relationship with Jesus Christ due to my awakening to my Sacred Heart. Also within the midst of this difficult time I was learning from Michael Singer about surrender from his books and online videos.
In my blog of Sunday 9-20-15 I spoke about all of this and my hopes to learn to dance in the rain, a metaphor for finding joy through the difficult times in life. It was this Sunday that I last heard Joel’s sermon on keeping pure your secret space, your personal holy of holies. I wrote on a ‘post-it’ about the idea of a secret place as well as Joel’s closing point to let God be the vindicator. This still hangs over my desk to this day.
On that day I wrote, “The word vindication bothers me as my mind immediately goes to revenge. I looked up the definition of vindicate, there were seven meanings offered and only one said avenge. The one I liked best said ‘to clear’. I desire that one Lord!”
I put my request out to God.
We met with a lawyer the following day to aid my son. His words were tough and, quite frankly, frightened me a lot. The week before we had met another lawyer who’s outlook had not been as severe. When I asked my son which he chose to represent him he chose the severe, scary outlook, lawyer.
I was very frightened that night as I sat in bed on my own, wanting to relax and meditate. Clearing of my mind was not in order – prayer was what was needed. I drew upon my new found intimacy with Jesus Christ.
I realize here I need my story to step back to the week prior, the Sunday morning before; the day that the disturbing news came to us. That morning my other son needed me to follow him to drop his car off for service. This interrupted my usual Sunday morning of Joel followed by reflection and writing.
Sorry, one more step even further back is needed. The week prior to this I had been reading a self-published book by a woman who wrote about her own personal relationship with Jesus; her story was uncomfortable to read as it was like a romance between her and Jesus.
As I drove my car to the service station George Harrison played “Give me Love.” I heard this song differently than I ever had before this Sunday morning. All my life I had heard it as just petitions out to society, God, Universe, or no one in particular … ‘give me love, give me peace on Earth’. This morning when George said ‘my Lord, please take hold of my hand’ I understood George was singing of his desire for an intimate attachment to his Lord (I assume it to be Jesus but perhaps not).
I thought about reaching my hand out to Jesus – it made me cry. George helped me to feel validation for my own desire of sharing a personal relationship with Jesus. Suddenly I knew it was OK, I wasn’t crazy like I had judged of the author of the book I had put aside. Here was a person I respected who wrote a song of such desires that he had shared with the world.
Now I can return my story to the Monday night following the visit with the lawyer.
That night I brought Jesus into my prayers for my son. I wished to send my blessing from my heart to my son’s. I reached my hand out to Jesus, he took hold of it. I brought our hands to my heart and then imagined Jesus’ other hand extending out to my son. I sent my blessing through Jesus to my boy. I envisioned Jesus as the white light bridging us together, allowing my blessing to flow.
We retained the lawyer on Wednesday, he went quickly to work. Within an hour he told us there was a possibility of a reprieve. He himself was very surprised to have been told this therefore he told me not to get our hopes up. On Thursday we received the call that no charges were being brought forward, he was fully cleared!
Awesome God!
The big challenge went away that easily. Over the next few months there were still struggles, pain, and adjustments to get through due to this situation. By Thanksgiving everything outside the family seemed to fall away in my son’s life – all friends and work gone.
In February we enrolled him in a school where he is thriving.
I am able to look back on all that occurred with gratitude and awe for what God has pieced together. I can see that we would not have found our way to the great opportunity and experience my son is now living without the pain and struggle of stripping away all we thought and believed important less than a year ago.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
“Trying to touch and reach you … with heart and soul.” ~ George Harrison