\u201cFor it is in giving that we receive.\u201d ~ St. Francis of <\/i>Assisi<\/i><\/i><\/p>\nHappy Sunday!<\/h2>\n
I have a person at work with whom our relationship is growing into something new for me.\u00a0 My role seems to be developing into something somewhere between mentor and Mom.\u00a0 I am suppose to be “boss” so I am feeling awkward and confused at times that the topics we speak about go way out past work issues.\u00a0 This week we have spoken a lot about health topics as he has not been feeling well but we have also begun to speak about spirituality. \u201cFor it is in giving that we receive.\u201d ~ St. Francis of Assisi Happy Sunday! I have a person at work with whom our relationship is growing into something new for me.\u00a0 My role seems to be developing into something … Continue reading
\nI have felt from the time of the job interview that this person was brought into my life for a reason so I have been following my inner voice as how to respond and interact with him.\u00a0 \u00a0At the same time my ego mind is fighting these changes, wanting me to go back to hiding behind the wall of keeping work life and personal life separate.
\nA few times this week I have asked myself “what am I doing?\u00a0 Do I really want a new relationship that will pull me into the struggles and worry of someone else’s life?”
\nWorking relationships shouldn’t be about the personal stuff; just come in and do your job;\u00a0 RIGHT?\u00a0 There are all those subjects you are not supposed to talk about like religion, sex, politics to name the big ones.
\nI started thinking about where I had gotten these ideas from of keeping my distance from people at work.\u00a0 I thought about when I started out in my early engineering jobs that I did have good friendships back then.\u00a0 The people I was closest to were men and these relationships did not last past the jobs we did together.\u00a0 I am now wondering if I have been keeping work relationships separate to avoid the hurt of the loss.
\nI had three men who I was very close to at different jobs in my twenties.\u00a0\u00a0 The first gentleman left the company we worked for to start his own business.\u00a0 I had helped him find the work that got his business started so I was a bit hurt that I never heard from him again.
\nThe second gentleman was a mentor to me and such a good person.\u00a0 I think a lot about speaking with him again and I wonder why we did not stay in touch.\u00a0 I was the one who left the job so I blame myself for not continuing the relationship.\u00a0 I have had this idea in my head for years that after I didn’t have the working relationship with someone that what would I have to talk about with them.\u00a0 I also know that this also ties into my not feeling worthy in the past and feelings of why would they want me interrupting their lives.\u00a0 Also for me, I admit, that it was just easier to not have to work at keeping the relationship going.\u00a0 I do recall when I left this job that he took me out to dinner with his wife and another couple we worked with.\u00a0 This shook me up at the time, that with his wife there, I wasn’t getting the attention I was used to.\u00a0 It was a tough lesson to realize that I wasn’t as special as I thought I was to him; there were others who were more important.
\nThe third gentleman was also married and I still single.\u00a0 We worked together and were friends.\u00a0 The job was high pressure so when deadlines were met, lots of drinking and parties happened.\u00a0 This relationship did not last past the job (I was laid off) and that was probably for the best as I had a sexual interest in him and he was such a company man, we probably didn’t have anything to speak of past the work that would have been good for either of us.
\nSo I have gone several decades with just work relationships, being able to leave the office and not have those people to add to my worries and expectations of those I care about.
\nAm I ready to open up to someone new?
\nThis is a new role that I have not done before.\u00a0 How does one mentor?\u00a0 How involved do you get in the other person’s life?\u00a0 How far do you let them into your life?\u00a0 How do I have this more personal role and still be the boss and keep my team productive?
\nThese are some really good and practical questions that I can ask of my loved ones who have done counseling work.\u00a0 But, I am after the higher level answers as well.
\nSo Holy Spirit I am asking “Why has he come into my life?\u00a0 What am I to learn from this?”
\nACIM gave me some insight this morning.\u00a0 It spoke of how we cannot truly know Love and Light until our brother receives these from us.
\n“Make way for love, which you did not create, but which you can extend.\u00a0 On earth this means forgive your brother, that the darkness may be lifted from your mind.\u00a0 When light has come to him through your forgiveness, he will not forget his savior, leaving him unsaved.\u00a0 For it was in your face he saw the light that he would keep beside him, as he walks through darkness to the everlasting Light.”\u00a0 (29:III:4)<\/em>
\nSo I ask today Lord for you to continue to guide my words and actions to help this person who it seems you have asked me to help.\u00a0 Help me to keep my ego in check that I don’t get caught up in my own importance and get involved in what is not for me.\u00a0 Help me to extend myself outside of my comfortable place.
\nAlso Lord, help me to learn and appreciate the lesson ahead, as Kahlil speaks of below:
\n\u201cI slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.\u201d ~ Kahlil Gibran<\/em>
\nI accept the gift.
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