{"id":5900,"date":"2026-10-26T09:40:11","date_gmt":"2026-10-26T09:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/triciabatessmith.com:443\/?p=5900"},"modified":"2026-10-26T09:40:13","modified_gmt":"2026-10-26T09:40:13","slug":"oct-25-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/triciabatessmith.com:443\/index.php\/2026\/10\/26\/oct-25-2026\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday 10-25-2026 – Tea with a part of me."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Happy Sunday!<\/h2>\n\n\n
\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

I wrote earlier this week, ACIM Workbook Lesson 293<\/a>, about meeting a part of me that carried the feeling of being less-than others. She looked like a small girl, like 5-6 years-old, curled up in a shadow part of my mind. I wrote about it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After going through the encounter with her, I reflected more on my inner reactions to considering myself a Holy Child of God and found that there was a part of me that felt greater-than everyone else. I began an encounter with this part. She is much different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This greater-than part of me is a grown woman. She comes off as very nice as well as self-confident. I did not feel like I was the one orchestrating the conversation so my usual means of offering gifts I put aside. Trying to feel equal to her, I suggested we have a cup of tea together. She accepted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I sensed from her is that she is a great manipulator. I thought perhaps she is like a type 2 on the Enneagram, having a need to be needed so she manipulates her loved ones through being over-caring and overbearing. She made me nervous as I did not know how to approach the encounter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I also sensed that behind the fa\u00e7ade of being greater-than others, this part was overcompensating for feeling less-than others. I let the contemplation lapse with the expectation of getting back to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Preparing for tea.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So, what is my goal here? Looking back on lesson 293, it taught \u2018All fear is past and only love is here\u2019. My goal is to clear the parts of me that hold onto fear; they represent fearful beliefs that have solidified in my psyche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I received a beautiful understanding about the equality of all of us in Love from my story of Yellow Star<\/a>. How does this understanding of us all being equal in the Web of Light relate to the part that believes I am greater-than others? Where does this belief come from?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think that it comes from comparison and then choice. If I think of the giant red stars in my story, they looked around at the other stars, saw themselves bigger and with more energy so they were able to do more. In this need for specialness model that this physical world seems to desire, they made the comparison that they were bigger so therefore better. And, as we know historically, forming a group with those similar to yourself creates the thoughts and words that lead human groups to an \u2018us versus them\u2019 view of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A need for a choice come into play in my own life. I began my career without skills like any young adult. I chose to delve deep into learning all I could and go back to school so I developed the skills to do the job the best I could. In my career I encountered those who just did enough to get a paycheck. I wanted to feel good about myself so I put in the work. (This also shows that the job was important to my identity and self-worth. Now, I recognize that there are some people who do not measure themselves based on job performance. I can appreciate this viewpoint.) Some of my co-workers were just miserable. They did not try to improve their skills to improve their performance. I believe now that my efforts at my job were my making the choice to feel good instead of bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time with the Tea-lady.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I turn my mind to my tea partner. \u2018Thank you for representing our choice to feel good in this life. How has that been?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is a lot of work. My mind is so busy trying to figure out what others might be thinking or what they might need that I can do for them before they take things in a direction that I don\u2019t want.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Yes, I\u2019ve been there and I appreciate the effort. It is so stressful, exhausting, and overwhelming at times that I\u2019ve wondered how I can do it all.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes! Why can\u2019t they see what I do and appreciate me for it?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My thoughts go to Yellow Star and the differences with Red Star. How did they each nurture their orbiting planets?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We saw of Yellow Star in the story, she basically ignored them as she was caught up in her own feelings of self-depreciation. I can imagine that Red Star put lots of effort into the birth of her planets. Perhaps she bombarded them with solar winds in the effort to speed up the evolution of life. Yellow Star ignored the natural world being caught up in her negative thoughts. Red Star ignored the natural world being caught up in her thoughts of having to make everything perfect as she imagined it should be. Neither shows any trust in God or in the abilities of the planets to choose their own growth path. There is no love in these family systems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Tea-lady, do you share my goal of learning to love well?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, of course. I am part of you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Do you know how we hold onto the choice of feeling good about ourselves while also helping those we love?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can coach them to be their best selves. Find out their goals and then support those goals.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018This is a change for us. It means quieting our thoughts about what we think is best for them. And, how we do that is by letting go of the fears that drive us to try to control. We must trust more.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can do that!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Score!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I smile at the unexpected outcome of this conversation with a part of me that a short time ago I feared what hid in my shadows. What this has shown me is that the parts of me truly want what I want. Mistaken beliefs in me have formed into mistaken behaviors. Looking at things differently, over a cup of tea, can change a lifetime of mistaken steps in my relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

New Tools<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What is also interesting in these reflections is that traits that I felt I had to overcome can just be redefined as tools in my toolbox.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Specialness. The Course\u2019s teachings on my need for specialness made me look at it as bad and that I need to eliminate that innate feeling within me. The story of Yellow Star showed me that my need for specialness can be nurtured and supported in myself and my loved ones just by my offers of loving-kindness in my family system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nurturing can mature into support. As a mother, there was a lot of work that I did to raise my children. At times, I still fall back into the role of telling them how to do things \u2013 giving them solutions to how I see things happening and what I see the outcome should be. I do notice when I do this and feel bad later. The loving thing is to help when asked and to find out what their goal is before forming ideas of support. I can be a coach instead of a parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you HS for the jewels you have given me this past week.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Happy Sunday! I wrote earlier this week, ACIM Workbook Lesson 293, about meeting a part of me that carried the feeling of being less-than others. She looked like a small girl, like 5-6 years-old, curled up in a shadow part … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[10,20,123,34,245,111],"class_list":["post-5900","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spirituality","tag-acim","tag-conversation","tag-enneagram","tag-forgiveness","tag-ifs","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nSunday 10-25-2026 - 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