{"id":1097,"date":"2015-05-25T10:28:02","date_gmt":"2015-05-25T10:28:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/batesonline.org\/triciablog\/?p=1097"},"modified":"2015-05-25T10:28:02","modified_gmt":"2015-05-25T10:28:02","slug":"may-24-15","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/triciabatessmith.com:443\/index.php\/2015\/05\/25\/may-24-15\/","title":{"rendered":"Sunday 5-24-15 Why am I not writing?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf man understood that “what I create has nothing to do with what anybody else is creating” then he wouldn’t be so afraid of what others are doing.\u201d ~ Abraham<\/em>
\nHappy Sunday!
\nI\u2019ve been away on vacation now for a week with one week left until I head home.\u00a0 It is a very relaxing vacation with family so I am not busy.\u00a0 I brought along my iPad and laptop and have good access to Wi-Fi.
\nSo why am I not writing?
\nSorry Universe for not writing my blog last week; it is the first Sunday I missed since I began it in February 2013.<\/em>
\nWhy am I not writing?
\nI feel like anything I put down for reasons will just be excuses but as I have pages to fill and the action of writing to practice on I will let the thoughts out.
\nI don\u2019t feel inspired. I feel disconnected and don\u2019t have any insights or revelations coming to me.\u00a0 I am peaceful as I am but not really happy.
\nMy mind is active and my heart is quiet.\u00a0 I notice my thoughts are seeing problems to solve, overly critical, and, unfortunately, judgmental.\u00a0 Each night I have been having dreams of negative content so this is a sign to me that my mind is over active.\u00a0 (Perhaps I am not so peaceful.\u00a0 P. just told me I seem withdrawn.)<\/em>
\nI feel a bit uncomfortable in spirit.\u00a0 There are more negative influences around me in this place with lots of negative media.\u00a0 I find the people to be more critical \u2013 nice but judgmental.\u00a0 At least this is how I am choosing to perceive things.
\nHoly Spirit, how do I see this differently?
\nI feel a bit better already; my recollection of the tools of ACIM and then asking for help just raised my energy so that I feel connected again.
\nMy mind felt it had to act alone to stay in alignment.\u00a0 I forgot that I don\u2019t have to act alone, I shouldn\u2019t act alone, and I am never alone.
\nThat\u2019s one fear that can be let go of.\u00a0 I turned over to HS my negative vision so I expect to see things clearer now.\u00a0 There is another fear that I am holding onto.\u00a0 That is my fear of being unkind. I feel like I am hiding my true self to be respectful and kind.\u00a0 But how can I truly be kind if I am acting out a part? I am not giving of myself and recognize my judgment of others.
\nWhere is acceptance? And Love?
\nLord Jesus, help me with me.
\nI was given the vision to see others as children just looking for acceptance and connection.\u00a0 For this I am grateful.
\nAnd what about me, where is my little girl? Not the good girl who wants to keep everything right and peaceful but the girl who brings in the light of her beingness.
\nShake it off, this cloak of conformance, and be yourself Tricia!
\nWhat do I want?
\nI want to write.\u00a0 Why am I not? Because I feel it will be wrong to go off by myself, to isolate myself.\u00a0 Instead, I have isolated myself within.
\nI think it would be better to spend time alone doing what I want so that when I rejoin with others I am fully present.
\nThank you Lord for the insight, I ask that there is more to come.
\n\u201cThe individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.\u201d ~ Friedrich Nietzsche<\/em>
\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf man understood that “what I create has nothing to do with what anybody else is creating” then he wouldn’t be so afraid of what others are doing.\u201d ~ Abraham Happy Sunday! I\u2019ve been away on vacation now for a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[6,7],"tags":[9,10,38,39,44,51],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhy am I not writing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"working through why I am not inspired and connected to others.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/triciabatessmith.com:443\/index.php\/2015\/05\/25\/may-24-15\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" 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