“To everything, turn, turn, turn.  There is a season, turn, turn, turn. And a time to every purpose under heaven.” ~ Pete Seeger 
Happy Sunday!
I took the initiative and signed up for the writer’s workshop from Hay House.  This week the lessons were a series of videos from authors introducing themselves and telling about their own experiences starting off as published writers. I was very taken with Doreen Virtue.  She seemed very down to earth as she spoke from her heart.  I took notes on her key points to being a writer but she also gave me a pointer where next to head on my path.
Doreen mentioned during her talk that she is a student of ‘The Course in Miracles’ and not just the published text but the original transcript that is online called ‘URText’. When I finished watching the writer’s course video I found the URText on the internet and started reading.  I was captivated from the start because the text is so conversational like Neale Donald Walsch’s ‘Conversations With God’. There, on the page, is Jesus speaking!
I still seek to understand Jesus; the struggle to understand ‘God’ or ‘man’ still taunts me.
Jesus validated for me again my understanding that he is the bridge to God (my realization I wrote about on 2-16-14 ‘The Bridge’).  In ACIM-UR, Jesus spoke of himself as having his feet on earth but his hands reaching to Heaven – I love that.
I got the confirmation that I wanted that Jesus is the example, the wise brother that we can all grow up and become like. But, the text also knocked me down as it had a discussion regarding sex. There were statements that were specific advice to the channels of the document that I tried to push aside as not about me but there were also statements like sex is for procreation and it is looking to the external for peace and happiness.  This disturbed me as I feel I have been in a good place lately with sex.
Back in January I put my back out, it was bad enough that I missed three days of work. On the third day of lying in bed I felt I had to find a way to heal – lower back … root chakra.  I found a healing meditation for the root chakra and it worked!  This led me to realize I was not accepting my earthly part, I was avoiding being grounded.  I found greater appreciation for the gift of being alive, of my body that is my connection to the physical world, and appreciating that my body has wants and needs that are OK.  Being alive is a gift so appreciate what is given.
The change that has occurred is that I’ve decided that during sex I’ll shut my mind off and just go where my body wants to go. My mind is told to ‘shut up’ with all its hang ups and excuses.  It has been good.  I find it more loving, my being present to experience the touch and feel the energy shared with my lover.
When I read the guidance from Jesus my ‘good girl’ ego was disturbed.  I was afraid that I am being bad and doing something wrong.
This morning I was reflecting on this to come to some peace within myself.  I recalled my own perception of feeling more grounded relating to my libido.  I thought of the connection I feel with Mother Earth and how I feel the love she sends me.  These feelings make me feel closer to ‘All That Is’, God.  Just as lessons of Buddha, the Tao, connection to nature, Abraham speaking of Self, all these bring me back to recognizing God and giving praise.
Jesus is a way.  I accept him as my teacher (perhaps that is why the lessons are more difficult, I am actually expected to work at it).  I can accept that Christ fills the vertical space between man and God, in which his role is to support and aid us in our re-union.
I also see that there is so much expansion happening and so many learning aids available.
It is an abundant Universe!
It is full of wonder, miracles, and miracle makers who gain our attention so we can realize there is so much more to experience then our small physical selves.
I want to play!
There are so many ways to go, so much to learn, so many teachers, and many ways to appreciate the experiences of the journey.
The message that came in my email this morning from Hazrat Khan was about keeping the mind on God.  There was a passage “there is only one virtue and only one sin for a soul on the path; virtue when he is conscious of God and sin when he is not.”  Perhaps, because of my questioning reflections I also questioned this.  Not that I don’t agree with the virtue of God consciousness but I thought of the joy that I feel from all the teachers and objects of this world that bring awareness of God to me.  I like seeing the signs, finding the clues from my guides, and then receiving the rewards of validation and revelation as something new is received.
I read several webpages this afternoon of others trying to understand Jesus in URText and his statements about sex.  One author did an excellent job of explaining all the passages about sex and how they relate to the overall message of ACIM.  The statements on sex are in line with other areas about physical pleasure and special relationships; these are all outside of the reality we seek of atonement, re-uniting with God.  The conclusion of the author clarified for me my own thoughts; ACIM is of a very high level of development.  It is a look at what is above to move forward toward.  It is not where I am right now.
When I ask my heart, it feels joyful in appreciating the physical things that are around me.  I feel good being grounded as it is where I am presently.  To think about doing all that ACIM says means I would have put my mind on distant future times of when I am more Christ-like in my development.  For me I think it would lead to stress and guilt because my present could not stand up to the goal.  (As I do believe anything is possible, perhaps someone is out there who can achieve immediately the advanced lessons Jesus offers, I don’t want to just write off that idea.)
I want to be here today listening and stepping, one step at a time, forward toward where God would have me go.  And, to not let my mind worry about the future, missing the experiences of now by wondering where I am heading in a future time and place.
Lord, I am ready to listen, willing to learn, and able to do … what’s the next step for me?
(Sorry, I just don’t think I am ready to leap!)
Amen
“Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn’t have to wait so long.  And wouldn’t it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong?” ~ Wilson, Love, Asher