Happy Sunday!
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”  ~ C.G. Jung
Last week I wrote about my experiences in observing female energy.  In the instances I described I was looking outside of myself to see the traits of the feminine returning to our society, giving me hope for our future.
From my continued reading of the Jeshua Channelings this week I was given some insight into my own energies and how I might be doing with balancing my yin and yang.  Below is a quote from the website jeshua.net, reference the channelling page entitled “Connecting to your inner boy and girl”.
“People who are overbalanced towards the male are afraid to surrender to the formless, flowing nature of the feminine energy. In your society, that as a whole has a surplus of male energy, this fear is apparent from the fact that people are neurotically busy all the time. They hardly take time for themselves, spent freely without a purpose. Everything seems to have to be ordered and planned, with an almost compulsive efficiency. Also, when you long for something and you truly feel you would like a particular change to happen in your life, you want to act upon it immediately. You often do not take enough time to let an idea or purpose grow and evolve and gradually be birthed in your reality. It is like an organic process. The inner dynamics which are set in motion once you set your intention to do or have something, are governed by an natural rhythm that you cannot force or control. Because of a dominant, or disconnected male energy you are inclined to think and worry far too much. Your thoughts jump up and down like crazy. This leads to a general restlessness, a sense of emptiness and lack of inspiration in your life. You are not really trusting your feminine energy. She seems to want to head in a very different direction than you. Your emotions tell you for instance to let go of things, take time for yourself, and communicate more openly to others. At a certain point, you will not be able to ignore this call of your soul anymore. If you try to live solely from the male energy, you are heading for a crisis in some form, whether it is illness or some other discomfort. This crisis will essentially be an opportunity to find a new balance between the male and the female in your life.
“What happens when the female energy stands too much on her own and does not sufficiently connect to the male? As opposed to a tense and controlling ego, this will lead to a weak and wobbly ego. Being overbalanced towards the female means that thing(s) easily are “too much” for you. You are reacting to other people’s energies in a highly sensitive way. It is hard to say no and set clear boundaries around yourself because the male energy of taking up your own space does not seem available to you. It is hard to even know what you want as you get easily drawn into other people’s moods and desires. Having a surplus of feminine energy means that you are empathic and that it is easy for you to understand what other people feel. You are also capable of going deep into your own emotions and moods, but you feel unable to really express yourself emotionally and creatively in the world. You have insufficient access to the male energies of self-consciousness, standing up for yourself and feeling centered and focused. The female energy, which is naturally flowing and receptive, needs to be anchored to a well defined “I”. This is what the male energy can give to her, if the female part is willing to trust him and let go of her fear to be a separate “I” with its own needs and clear boundaries.”
Reading the above traits of the feminine and masculine energies that are to reside in each of us, I thought that before my awakening I was acting from a majority of female energy.  I felt I had empathy for what others were feeling so I was reacting to what I thought others wanted or how I thought I was expected to act.  (This, of course, was my own internal perception, which I assumed at the time was correct – now I believe most conflict came from wrong assumptions and my not being authentic). I am thinking now of all the Moms I know and how much they always give to the point of not knowing how to take care of themselves.  Doctor Oz always makes the point that we women don’t take care of ourselves so I believe it is in our nature to not say ‘no’ or to set boundaries,  thereby giving too much or allowing too much to be taken from us.
I recognize the change in me is my yin and yang coming more into balance – I thought all week that my male energy is rising.  I recognized this in the story I wrote of last week in which I was ready to speak up to defend the community environment of my local bar so that women and children can feel comfortable; this made me think that my male energy was on the rise.
But this morning as I reflect on my experiences I also recognize that I had strong male traits in my past behavior.  I was a do-er.  Any self-worth I felt during most of my life was from my accomplishments.  I can remember taking on so many tasks and responsibilities at work, feeling competitive, thinking I needed to do more and be more to get acknowledged.  Now I know that being me is all I ever needed to be.
I see now it is not about gaining more or less of one type of energy but the bringing together of the two.  Below I have placed the yin-yang symbol, I see that it represents the two sides of our energy mingling so nicely to form the perfect circle.  I can imagine what my symbol might have looked like previously; two separate amoebas swimming far apart and me jumping from one behavior type to the other, never feeling whole.
With this new view, when I read about the female energy rising on Earth to bring on the New Age, I will think on this differently.  Instead of seeing one energy increasing and one diminishing, as separate forces on a balance scale, I will choose to see the Tao symbol.  I will consider how humans can blend the traits of male and female to create a perfect whole.
Two becoming one.   Curious, isn’t that the start of life?
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”  ~  Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching