“Do not let the past disturb you – just leave everything in the Sacred Heart, and begin again with joy.” ~ Mother Teresa

Happy Sunday!

I read a new book this week on my Kindle; it is ‘Living in the Heart’ by Drunvalo Melchizedek.  I first learned of Drunvalo from a Lilou interview and like most new things that come to me he seemed way out there; I did some research (thought ‘this guy is really woo-woo’) then put him aside until I was ready.
I downloaded the book on Monday and finished reading it yesterday.  The timing for this to come into my life seems just right in so many ways.  It was just a few weeks ago that I got myself back into meditation, I had that healing of my back, so I carry the intent of wanting to go deeper.
I found the first half of the book interesting with Drunvalo speaking of all his encounters with super-psychic people who are able to use energy fields in amazing ways.  The second half of the book was about methods of meditation to enter your sacred heart, the center of your energy being.
I was pleased when the book offered as a preparation for entry into the heart a meditation called “Unity Breath” given to Drunvalo by Sri Yukteswar, the guru to Yogananda.  The Unity Breath meditation is beautiful on its own and brought me such joyful energy.  I think Abraham would call it high vibration alignment.  It was curious to me that the Unity Breath experience was very similar to the experience I had when I wrote the poem “Today in Prayer”, showing gratitude to Mother Earth and Father Sun.
The next step, once in alignment, is to move your awareness from the center of your brain to the center of your heart. (I’m not using the word ‘mind’ here because I don’t believe that the mind is located in the brain.  In the past I have played around with shifting the location of my mind – I find the mind in the skull has too much echo when using a mantra.)
Drunvalo also spoke of envisioning your awareness like a ball of light, to move it down into the throat chakra, feel it there, and then he had a couple of methods to have it gain access into the heart.
Again, here I found similarity to past experiences that I have had.  When I was reading Caroline’s ‘Entering the Castle’ I had my Tinkerbell light lead me into my heart, as well as entertain me.  I wondered if I had already been to the center of my heart from my work with Caroline.  In her book she was using methods detailed by the Catholic Saint and mystic Teresa of Avila.  Was my castle the heart center?
All roads lead to God!
Two enjoyable heart meditations I experienced were my returning to the castle that I had built with Caroline.  I get there by moving through the outer wall into my lush green lawn surrounded by beautiful flower borders. Yesterday as I walked across the lawn toward the castle building I encountered a force field. Instead of backing away I imagined that the space in my atoms could allow me to enter it – so I did, very slowly.  Once in, it felt like water to me so I began to swim in it.  I found a light guiding me to the surface so I swam up and floated on the surface.  During this meditation I carried the intent of healing my eyes as they were blurry and sore.  I wanted them well so I could get back on my computer to do some writing.  I floated and focused on healing for my eyes.  After a few moments I felt ready to leave.  I let myself move back down the wall of the force field and return to the lawn.  From there I left my heart castle and slowly left the meditation.  When I opened my eyes my vision was clear and the soreness was gone.
This morning I returned to my heart castle.  It was much easier to get there now. And when I got into the garden I was able to see (or create) more beautiful flowers in the beds as well as vines growing on the walls.  I laid on the grass for a few minutes and experienced a bright light encompass it all.  Although I could not see well due to the brightness I did notice trees growing up over my head toward the light.
I felt it was time to enter the castle building.  I encountered no force field this day.  The last two times in the garden I thought that I had no fear of entering the castle as when I did my work with Caroline I had resolved my reptiles (Teresa called reptiles in the castle the parts of ourselves that we needed to resolve).  And, I thought, if there were any left that I missed I felt they would be tame.
I got up from the ground and walked into the castle.  As I approached the first interior room on the right a big reptile appeared standing on two legs with a height well above my own.  I felt no fear as I knew it was just an aspect of myself.
I asked, “Who are you?”
The response I got was ‘unworthiness’.
If you’ve been reading my blog you know that this was my big issue through my youth that I feel I have resolved.  I gave the reptile words of love and appreciation for the experiences of my life because without the past I would not be who I am today.
I tried to turn the reptile into something more cuddly so I could comfort it.  I tried a small reptile and then a cat but finally I knew what it needed to be.  I turned it into my teenage self.  I held my young self and thanked her for struggle and all that we had learned.  I took her into my body but she came back out – there was something left to resolve.  We spoke to one another to figure out what it was.
“Why the struggle?”
The thing left was regret.  Why could it not have been a life of awareness?
So this is the work.  I wanted to get my story written down before I get down to reflecting on the answer.  The answer is just waiting to be spoken into my right ear – I have held it back.  OK, now you can flow.
The joy now would not have been so great!
Somewhere this week I read of the ecstasy that comes from focusing gratitude in the heart.  (Another path guiding me to the same place).
Gratitude. Does the great scale of my gratitude come from my memory of my struggles and of the fearful person I used to be? I think so.
So, my girl, I am sorry you didn’t know that you were always loved and supported along every step that you took.  I am sorry you could not see the well-being that was always with you and how your life was always working out for you.
It was a blessed life.  The gratitude of today, being able to see all that came to me without my awareness, is overwhelming.
My cup runneth over!
Amen!
“How do we communicate worthiness to our children? Only through our presence, our full on engaged, attuned presence.” ~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary.