“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” ~ Voltaire

Happy Sunday!

It has been a week of ups and downs.
On Monday morning, after having written on Sunday 9-7, about blockage I had a break-through.  I was meditating using a Abraham-Hicks Youtube which appropriately was named “meditate into the vortex.” and that is what happened:
I have been listening to Abraham for several weeks now and I sometimes I would think I am doing OK so I must be in the vortex and other times I would think that I don’t really understand what the vortex is.  I was having these thoughts of doubt Sunday night and was hesitant then on Monday to use this meditation video because of the name, but I did.
I listened to the uplifting words of Abraham during the meditation and got into to a nice relaxed state so I stayed in meditation when the sound of the video ended.  A vision came to me of a tower of light.  I had imagined this image many times over the past two years.  I remember having this image with Betty Eddie’s book on ‘near death experience’ where she spoke of a tower or cone of light that Jesus Christ stood within – I had felt skeptical of this part of her story.  I remember again this image when in the book “Journey of Souls” it saying that we come from this light source to evolve through levels of development until we choose to return to the light.  I held a feeling that this would be like death to give up the individual self and return to the primary light.  I do want to understand and evolve but I didn’t like the idea of ultimately still giving up the self.
So, Monday morning when I saw this same tower of light as my vision it all came together for me.  This is the vortex.  The tower of light that we sprang from and may return to is also the vortex that Abraham says is the ‘Self’ part of us that is connected to Source!
I chose to enter the vortex in my vision instead of resisting it as I have done in the past.  I instantly felt electricity enter my body from my waist upward.  I focused to spread it down my body to have it heal my gut and encompass all of my body.  I felt well-being enter my body and I felt my heart open in Love again for everyone and everything.  Monday was a day that I felt uplifted all day.
Come Tuesday it seemed I could not stay in the vortex.  My focus on sickness and lack of motivation had returned.  In that morning’s meditation Abraham said we are like corks in water, we will naturally rise upward if nothing is holding us down.  I felt some success in lifting myself up by declaring that I have nothing that is holding me down.
I continued to struggle through some very stressful workdays only to crash at home each evening.
On Thursday I made some decisions on managing the medications that seemed to improve how I tolerate the meds as well as how I felt during the next couple of days.
So now I feel left with this awareness of a lack of motivation that I am working to shake.
Baby steps I think.
I was feeling pretty down with myself Saturday evening after a day of lying around but as I write this morning, reflecting on my week, I see that there has been effort on my part to shake this.
I am grateful for those efforts.
I started reading last Sunday Steven Pressfield’s “War of Art” as I know it is about creative resistance.
I have been diligent about meditating each morning.
I have written in my journal a few nights this week (which I am very grateful for as these entries have help seed today’s post).
And, I made an effort to start a vision board.  I found an app for creating one after being impressed that even Steve Harvey, on LifeClass with Oprah, was expressing the importance of visioning.
The vision board effort didn’t get very far as I tend to tell myself that I will be OK with whatever The Lord may bring (while I still worry about things like my sons’ futures and the future of the planet).
There was one thing that wanted to be on my vision board and that is a book idea that came to me in a dream earlier this year.  And, when I have asked my guides what is next for me the answer that comes is “write”.
Excuses for not writing are easy.  I have another book that is 80% complete ahead of this other book I am guided towards.  Do I start another without finishing the first?  I am also feeling resistance to just taking time to let the story develop as it feels too much like daydreaming.  I am letting myself waste time with TV but not accept that dreaming and writing will be my creative energy flowing.
I have lots of wrong ideas in my mind to change to break through resistance.
Joel’s message this morning was a balm; a sweet reminder that I am creating all the struggle.
“All is well!”
Namaste’
 
“The premise that so many perople come from is that good isn’t natural; good must be demanded or manipulated or orchestrated.  And we say, good IS natural! It must be asked for, and it must be expected – but Good is the only Stream that flows.” ~ Abraham-Hicks